


Barely Breathing

by lux_chels



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-21
Updated: 2014-09-21
Packaged: 2018-02-18 06:39:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2338820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lux_chels/pseuds/lux_chels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So basically, I have a lot of headcanons about Braeden being tough as nails on the outside but incredibly vulnerable when it comes to Derek.  Because she's fallen in love before and each time she's been hurt and no one has ever made her feel like Derek has.</p>
<p>Enjoy. </p>
<p>:)</p>
    </blockquote>





	Barely Breathing

**Author's Note:**

> So basically, I have a lot of headcanons about Braeden being tough as nails on the outside but incredibly vulnerable when it comes to Derek. Because she's fallen in love before and each time she's been hurt and no one has ever made her feel like Derek has.
> 
> Enjoy. 
> 
> :)

"Order up for Derek--" is all she hears before her world begins to crumble. 

She's been gone for about two weeks and she didn't expect it to hurt this much. She's never been one to be needy, and she'll be damned before she becomes that woman, dependent on a man. She's been there before, and that's no way to live. And yet, just hearing his name makes her weak. 

"Can I get you anything?" the kind waitress says. The look of pity in her eyes is enough to tell Braeden that she looks like utter shit.   
Figures, she hasn't been able to sleep for the past few nights and her heart feels like it could burst at any moment. Swallowing her tears and the lump in her throat, she lets out a shaky, "no."

And fuck she really doesn't want to cry right now, especially over a boy. She promised herself that she wouldn't stoop to that level.   
"Okay, well just let me know if you need anything." the waitress says before turning to walk away." Turning back however, she says, "Look, I don't know what you're going through, or even who you are, but it does get better." And Braeden wants to believe her, needs to believe her, so she calls Marin and asks her to give her as many jobs as possible. Because what better way to get over familiarity than by a distraction?   
___________

It's been about a month, and nothing seems to change. Yeah the money is good and so is the independence, but at times when she's lying in bed alone or when she sees a couple out on a date, she thinks about him. And she doesn't necessarily mean to, but it's like he's a drug that she can't let go of, and she isn't even sure if she wants to let him go. "Has he moved on?" "Is he mad at her for leaving?" "Did he even care at all?" are questions that seem to plague her day and night. 

And she knows that he misses her and cares for her, the voice and text messages she's received being evidence enough, but if she can't put her faith in a God, how can she put her faith in a man? 

It's another month before the text messages and voicemails stop coming.   
_________  
"Fuck!" she exclaims looking down at her leg. Wiping the sweat from her brow, she grits her teeth, and counts to ten. "This wouldn't have happened if Derek was here!" her brain answers. Cursing, she silently agrees. The entire senario makes her think of Derek. Last time when she had gotten that close to a threat, he quickly and efficently took them out, before giving her a smile and a helping hand.   
And, god thinking about that makes her mind think back to the way they always ended a fight. And nothing feels,or better yet felt as good as him holding her, kissing her, and fucking her into the mattress until she couldn't speak or think about anything. And even so, that wasn't what always seemed to get her, it's the tender way he would hold her after and the way he looked at her like she was the meaning of the universe--and Braeden has to reel herself in. Because she's not there anymore, she's here, currently bleeding out onto the sidewalk. 

Slowly, she begins to walk, and yeah the pain hurts like a bitch, but nothing can truly compare to the way her chest has felt like it's being compressed, since the moment she left.   
____________  
Trembling, Braeden takes deep breaths to ease her anxiety. She’s now been close to death twice, and its truly not something she would like to do for a third time.. The first time with her encounter with Deucalion, she didn’t think about anything at all, except for the fact she would go out like a fighter. But this time all she could think about was Derek. And what it would be like to build a life with him and mother his children.

And suddenly she has a burning desire to see him. Because she hasn’t even told him she loves him. And why hasn’t she told him? And he won’t pick up his phone either, much to her dismay. Frustrated, she wipes angry tears from her face and thinks “fuck it.” And while she’s never been one to swallow her pride, she’d do it if it meant he’d take her back.   
_____________  
Shy of three o'clock in the morning, she standing outside his loft. Soaking wet from the rain and dark eye circles from insomia, she knows she doesn’t look good. But, she can’t live her life like this anymore, barely breathing. And even if she’s met with rejection at least she’ll be able to receive some closure. Pushing past her pride and anxiety, she tentatively knocks.

He opens the door with a look of suspicion in his eyes before he notices who it is. “Braeden.” he says in a soft voice that’s filled with relief. “What are you—”

"I’m sorry." she lets out in a rushed breath, cutting him off "I lied. I lied about everything. I do love you. I love you so much it hurts. A..and I’m sorry Derek, I’m so sorry." she keeps saying over and over again, as tear well in her eyes.

And now she’s making hiccuping sounds and she can’t stop crying. She doesn’t even know what she’s saying now, besides, “please take me back,” “I need you,” “I love you, don’t you love me?" "why did you stop calling me?"

And she knows she sounds like a broken record, but she can’t lose him and what if she messed it all up?

And then Derek’s holding her in his arms and his kissing her forehead and telling her “It’s okay. Baby we’re okay.”

And for the first time in three months, Braeden feels like she can breathe again.

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me about Draeden at lux-chels.tumblr.com


End file.
